(Taken from a talk given during a
retreat held at Amaravati in August I985 and printed in
"The Middle Way", U.K.)
In meditation we can be alert, attentive;
it's like listening, being with the moment as it is -- just
listening. Now see if you can hear the primordial sound. It is
like a high pitch -- it is quite difficult to describe really.
Even if you plug your ears, put your fingers against your ears,
or if you are underwater in a swimming pool or under the sea,
you can hear it. It is a background sound, not dependent upon
the ears, because when they are bunged up there is still this
high-pitched, vibrating sound. We can use this in meditation,
because what we are doing now is learning how to observe the way
it is; that which we can experience which we can notice and be
aware of -- even bad thoughts and bad moods can be used, rather
than just rejected.
What we are doing is bringing into awareness
the way it is, noticing space and form, emptiness and form; the
unconditioned and the conditioned. We can see this as the
archetypal symbol: the male - the female; the space - the form.
For example, we begin to notice the space in
this room. Most people probably wouldn't notice the space, they
would notice the things; they would notice the people, the
walls, the floor, the shrine, the furniture. But to notice the
space, what do you do? You withdraw your attention from the
things, and bring your attention just to the space. This is not
getting rid of the things, nor denying the things in the room --
their right to be here; it is merely not concentrating on them,
not going from one thing to another.
Beginning to notice the space around people
is a very different way of looking at somebody, isn't it? We
look at the space around them rather than looking at them. This
is a way of beginning to open oneself. When one has a spacious
mind, then there is room for everything. When one has a narrow
mind, then there is only room for a few things; everything has
to be manipulated and controlled, so that you have only what you
think is right -- what you want is there -- and everything else
has to be pushed out. Now life on that level is always
suppressed and constricted; it is always a struggle -- there is
always tension to keep every thing in order all the time. If you
have got just a very narrow view of life, the disorder of life
always has to be ordered for you, so you are always busy,
manipulating the mind, pushing things out or holding on to
things. This is the dukkha of ignorance,
which comes from not understanding things.
Now the spacious mind has room for
everything. It is like the space in this room, which is never
harmed by what goes in and out of this room. In fact, we say
'the space in this room', but actually the room is in the
space; the building is in the space. When the building
has gone the space will still be here. So we can have a
perspective, we have the actual walls and the shape of the room,
and the space. Right now we can see the limit of this room, and
the space of this room is contained by the limits of this
building.
Space is something that we tend not to
notice, because it doesn't grasp our attention, does it? It is
not like a beautiful flower something really beautiful, or
something really horrible -- which pulls your attention right to
it. You can be completely mesmerised in an instant by something
exciting, fascinating, horrible or terrible; but you can't do
that with space, can you? To notice space you have to calm down
-- you have to contemplate it.
This is because spaciousness is not extreme,
it has no extreme qualities. It is just spacious, whereas
flowers can be extremely beautiful, with beautiful bright reds
and oranges and purples, beautiful shapes -- extremely beautiful
shapes -- that are just so dazzling to our minds. Our something
else can be really ugly and disgusting.
But space is not dazzling, it is not
disgusting, and yet without space there would not be anything
else; we couldn't see. If you had just this room, and filled it
up with things so it became solid, or filled it up with cement
-- a big cement block -- there'd be no space left in this room.
Then, of course, you couldn't have beautiful flowers or anything
else; it would just be a big block. It would be useless,
wouldn't it? So we need both; we need to appreciate the form and
the space, because they are the perfect couple, the true
marriage, perfect harmony -- space and form. We contemplate
this, we reflect, and from this comes wisdom. We know how things
are, rather than always trying to create things the way we might
want them to be.
Now apply this to the mind. Use the 'I'
consciousness to see space as an object to the 'I'. We can see
that mentally there are the thoughts, emotions -- the mental
conditions -- that arise and cease. Usually we are dazzled,
repelled or just bound by the thoughts and emotions; we go from
one thing to another -- trying to get rid of them or reacting,
controlling and manipulating them. So we never have any
perspective in our lives, we just become obsessed with
repression and indulgence; we are caught in those two extremes.
With meditation we have the opportunity to
contemplate the mind. The silence of the mind is like the space
in the room; it is always there, but it is subtle. It doesn't
stand out, it doesn't grab your attention. It has no extreme
quality which would stimulate and grasp your attention, so you
have to pay attention, you have to be attentive. Now one can use
the sound of silence (or the primordial sound, sound of the
mind, or whatever you want to call it) very skilfully, by
bringing it up, paying attention to it. By concentrating your
attention on that for a while, it becomes something that you can
really begin to know. It is the mode of knowing in which one can
reflect. It's not a concentrated state you absorb into, it's not
a suppressive kind of concentration. The mind is concentrated in
a state of balance and openness, rather than absorbed into an
object, so that one can actually think and use that as a way of
seeing things in perspective -- letting things go.
Now I really want you to investigate this so
that you begin to see how to let go of things rather than just
have the idea that you should let go of things.
You might come away from this retreat with the idea that you
should let go of things. Then, when you can't let go of things,
you'd start thinking, "I can't let go of things," -- but that is
another ego problem that you have created. "Only others can let
go, but I can't let go. I should let go --
Venerable Sumedho said everybody should let go." But that very
simple thing is another "I am", isn't it?
Now you can take that simple thing and begin
to notice, reflect and contemplate the space around those two
words; rather than looking for something else, you just sustain
attention on the space around those two words. It's like looking
at the space in this room; you don't go looking for the space,
do you? 'Where is the space in this room?' thinking, 'I am
looking for the space in this room, have you seen it?' What do
you do? You look at it; you are open to it because it is here
all the time. It is not anything you are going to find in the
cupboard or in the next room or under the floor. It is right
here now -- so you open, you begin to notice.
If you are still concentrated on the
curtains, or the window or the people, you don't notice the
space. But actually you don't have to get rid of all those
things to notice the space; instead you begin just to open to
the space, to notice it. Rather than focusing your attention on
one thing, you are opening the mind completely; you are not
choosing an object -- a conditioned object -- but the space
where the conditioned objects are.
It's the same with the mind, you can apply
that inwardly. When your eyes are closed, you are not looking at
something, but it is like listening to the inner voices that go
on -- those things that say, 'I am this, I should not be like
that'... you use those for taking you to the space, rather than
making a big problem about the obsessions and fears that go on
in your mind. In this way, even the devil, or an evil thought,
can take you to emptiness.
This is very skilful, because it is no longer
a battle where we are trying to get rid of evil and kill off the
devil. It is letting the devil have his due. The devil is an
impermanent thing it rises and ceases in the mind -- so you
don't have to making anything out of it. Devil or angels -- they
are all the same really. Before, you'd think, 'devil!'. Now
trying to get rid of the devil, or trying to grasp hold of the
angels is dukkha. But if we take up
this cool position of Buddha-knowing -- knowing the ways things
are -- then everything becomes the truth of the way it is. So we
see that the good, the bad, the skilful, unskilful, or neither
skilful or unskilful dhammas are all
qualities that arise and cease.
This is what we mean by reflections,
beginning to notice the way it is. Rather than assuming that it
should be any way at all, you are simply noticing. So what I am
saying now is to encourage you to notice -- rather than telling
you -- how it is. Don't go around saying, 'Venerable Sumedho
told us the way it is.' I am not trying to convince you of this,
but just trying to present a way for you to consider, a way of
reflecting on your own experiences, on your own mind. Sometimes
if these things are pointed out we begin to notice them, like
the sound of silence -- you never notice it until somebody
points it out. It is there all the time, but something that
you've never really noticed. Because it doesn't have any
particular quality to it, it doesn't stick in the mind as a
memory until it is pointed out, and then you think, 'Oh yes!'
(Newsletter,
January-March 1994, Buddhist Society of Western Australia)